In the early years of our lives, the world was truly our oyster.
The word “permission” wasn’t in our vocabulary.
As little kids, we lived with curiosity and energy, doing whatever we wanted. The beach sand looked tasty? We licked it. Something bothered us? We cried, screamed, or fought back. Every time we stepped into a grocery store and saw that shiny toy, we wanted it now, nothing in the world would stop us from getting it, and we made sure our parents knew it, even if that meant causing a scene. Out of pure curiosity, we even touched fire without asking anyone. We learned the hard way.
But as we grew older, we began to let the world happen to us.
We learned that curiosity and desire weren’t enough. That we had to ask first. That closed mouths don’t get fed,but they also shouldn’t open too quickly. We were taught to always think twice before acting: “No, don’t do that, we’re in public.” “No, don’t say that, it’s rude”. We were conditioned to think more and act less. Perhaps most of what our mind wants is a total waste of time and a horrible idea.
Apparently, the most interesting ideas we had became misaligned with reality: it turns out that you can’t drill someone’s head to see their thoughts, you can’t get on top of the table, you can’t build your LEGO set right now, and homework comes first.
You can’t eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; you can’t go to the bathroom yet, wait your turn.
This goes on. In the process, we learned a lot about timing as well. Whatever it is, fill in the blank had to happen later, maybe next year, or maybe when you’re an adult. As we grow older, this conditioning sticks with us. Some may call this civilization. I call this losing your agency.
In the paragraphs that follow, I’ll explore how we lose our sense of agency—and how we can reclaim it.
The Permission Myth
Maybe asking for permission made sense in the past.
A peasant in feudal times had to ask their lord for the right to learn or leave the land. A Black man in the 1400s, or even centuries later, had to navigate a world designed to keep him from learning, hoping for just a small chance to read, to grow, to dream. Writers used to mail out hundreds of manuscripts, hoping one publisher might respond. Musicians begged record labels for a shot at being heard.
But the world has changed.
Those days are behind us. Society has shifted conveniently for us.
Today, most of what we want to try is accessible.
The doors we used to beg to enter are now within reach.
You can write, edit, publish, and sell your book without going through traditional publishing gatekeepers.
You can launch a brand, shoot a film, start a movement.
Practically anything that doesn’t defy physics can be accomplished.
No one in history has had this much access.
So if you’re reading this, you have no reason to wait for permission from anyone but yourself.
We have no excuses.
The Lie of ‘When I’m Ready’
A major trap we often fall into is postponing our pursuits until we feel “qualified.”
Saying: I’m studying to be a “photographer” often suggests that you are waiting for someone to hand you a permission slip (A degree) which declares you a ‘Photographer’. Then maybe you can call yourself a photographer? Or maybe after you get your first client? After you build a huge following? Which of these permission slips truly permits you to declare yourself what you want to be – “I’m studying to be a filmmaker” … but the truth is, if you’ve written, shot, and edited your short film, guess what? You already are one. You don’t need to wander around asking for permission, just be one.
It’s like the classic story of Mozart: One young man came to Mozart and asked him how to write a symphony. Mozart replied, “You are too young to write a symphony.” The young man was confused by the reply and said, “You were writing symphonies when you were 10 years of age, and I am 21.” Mozart said, “Yes, but I didn’t run around asking people how to do it”.
To change your little corner of the world through your work, you shouldn’t need to be advised to do it. If it truly matters to you, you won’t be able to tolerate not doing it. It should matter to you so much that you won’t be able to accept a world where your work does not exist.
There’s a clear difference between seeking advice and asking for permission. If the young man had walked in with a finished symphony and asked for feedback, Mozart would’ve likely helped.
The ‘how’ is your responsibility. Start first, then ask. Do the thing, then get the feedback, not the other way around.
Be biased toward action.
The Experience Trap
Too many of us, myself included, postpone ourselves in the name of “more experience.”As I mentioned earlier, we’ve been taught to wait. To believe we need to be older, more qualified, or more experienced before we’re allowed to do the things we love, that we need permission.
But often, what we really need is momentum.
Don’t let the fact that someone else has already done it stop you from doing it in your way.Don’t let age or inexperience silence your contribution.
That mindset is a dream killer.
This idea came up again in an old interview of Steve Jobs that I saw recently. He spoke about playing with electronics kits as a kid with radios, TVs, and gadgets. He had a realization that people made all these things. They weren’t magic. They were understandable, buildable, and within reach.
That realization changed his life. He didn’t have just to consume the world, he could create it.
The same goes for me and you.
The reality is that we’re all here on this blue round ball, not by accident, but by design. We’re designed by the lord to shape some small (or large) part of this world.
Take the Leap
To all the over-analyzers, overthinkers, perfectionists, and procrastinators out there, the ones waiting for permission to make a move, to start something new, to make an impact.
Turns out, Nike had it right all along:
Just DO it.
Stop waiting. Stop stalling. Be unapologetically biased toward action.
Because the truth is, clarity comes after movement, not before.
Make the move.
Start the thing.
Hit publish.
Send the message.
Watch how everything begins to shift the moment you stop overthinking and just take the leap.
That’s how we truly take agency over our lives.