Over the past couple of years, I have felt urged to completely distance myself from soccer.
The game I have played ever since I could remember and now in college.
For some reason, my heart constantly told me to move away. It was difficult for me to comprehend this.
Eventually, I began to understand that I was meant to focus on other things at this stage in my life. I began to realize that I needed to grow.
I felt that God wanted to move in different directions. Though I acknowledged that fact, I still refused to face it and got stuck, I was stubborn.
At this stage, I experienced two major steps from The Hero’s journey. The “Call” and the refusal of the “Call.”
The “Call” is the first stage of The Hero’s Journey. Hero’s Journey contains 12 steps, but I will only focus on the call because it is relevant at this stage of my life.
We can see this in many movies. Think about your favorite movie. The plot usually follows the following structure, especially in action: the protagonist leaves their hometown or old way of living in pursuit of greatness. That also applies to our lives; we need to reinvent ourselves to see changes. Reinvention means leaving one’s familiarity and a comfortable zone behind. In short, as like to call it the process of “unleashing your 2.0.”
The call is the stage when we feel a deep calling for reinvention, telling us that we need to be better or change something in our life. I am a firm believer; That is, God, speaking to us. Let’s trust in him.
However, many of us ignore this. Including myself, I personally ignored this too many times. I knew that soccer was no longer part of the future I am envisioning, but I was stuck in denial. I knew it was time to reinvent myself. The call is the first step toward transformation.
The obstacle is ourselves. Often, we stand in our way to refuse this transformation.
I ask myself why? Why am I refusing to take this step forward?
Fear Of Change
Can you recall a time when someone took your habitual seat in class or on a train and felt uncomfortable? Or did you feel out of place when you were moved to a new school? Ok, I admit this is quite random but I’m trying to paint a picture here. Just think of the feeling You felt you went to school out of town, or move to a different country. Whatever it may be. We all have experienced that feeling of change, I certainly know how it feels.
Humans crave routines, patterns, and familiarity. It’s common to feel panicked when we’re faced with the need to transition into something new. It’s natural, we cannot beat ourselves up for that reason. Sometimes we can be in an unfavorable situation, but we choose to stay in it, simply because it’s what we are accustomed to.
This is why people do not often seem to break bad habits. Subconsciously, we are attached to the reality of the things that we have been involved in. Whether they are good or bad for us.
It is perfectly orchestrated in Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”.
In the Allegory, prisoners are chained inside a dark cave, facing a blank wall. They have been there since birth and are unable to turn their heads. Behind the prisoners, a fire burns, and objects are placed between the fire and the prisoners, casting shadows on the cave wall. These shadows are the only reality the prisoners have ever known. One day, one of the prisoners chooses to escape the cave. At first, the prisoner is overwhelmed by the bright light outside and the unfamiliarity of the world. They were hesitant to get out and refuse to see the world. Gradually, the prisoner’s eyes adjust, and they begin to see the actual objects that cast shadows in the cave.
I find this to be relevant to our reinvention. One thing I got from the Allegory Of The Cave is how we fear unfamiliarity. When one of the prisoners was freed from the cave, he wanted to go back to his old ways. Even though he was being enlightened. Sometimes we self-sabotage ourselves and ignore things that are beneficial for us for the sake of comfort. Hence the call for reinvention seems to be uncomfortable.
The thing is, fear is natural to us.
But we’re not supposed to stay in it. God never intended that.
We must conquer with our faith.
We’re supposed to be walking in belief that the direction we’re stepping into is the right one.
If you feel a deep calling for something, trust it. Have faith in the direction God is taking you.
Go start that new music.
Go open that restaurant you always wanted to have.
Go change your lifestyle. You will be just fine.
Loss of Identity
As I stated earlier, I started playing and watching soccer for a long time. This has been a part of my whole life.
A significant portion of my identity was occupied by it. Soccer has been the center of my thoughts, dreams, and future plans.
Everything that we do, see, and give our mind and time, surely becomes part of our identity.
You have things in your own life to which you have been accustomed.
Maybe you came from a small town and everyone knew you everyone and vice versa. There is comfort with this.
Let’s say, all of a sudden you move out of that place.
How would you feel?
If you’re like most people you would feel uncomfortable.
Think about one thing in your life that takes most of your time and energy.
If God takes it away or directs you on a different path. Who would you be? Would you see yourself the same way?
The feeling of uncertainty often hinders our personal growth and prevents us from becoming the person we aspire to be.
The decision to quit competitive soccer caused significant pain. Because that’s all that I’ve ever known. It feeds the ego. I knew it wasn’t what God wanted me to spend my time and energy on anymore but ignored the call for two years.
My fear stemmed from my lack of clarity regarding the circumstances. I did not know entirely who I was outside of soccer, the uncertainty feared me.
Ironically there is beauty in that. Uncertainty cultivates change. In the uncertainty of our identity we can choose exactly who we can become.
Moreover, its potential is limitless.
A reinvention is what’s needed at this stage.
Why should we care about Reinventing ourselves?
We were not meant to be stagnant. Life has cycles, each of which calls for change.
We must learn how to embrace changes despite discomfort.
We are students of the world, as the world is changing, so are we.
It is almost as if this is a video game, and we must develop our “character” to gain attributes.
With the sole purpose of becoming the best version of ourselves.
Those who do not invent themselves or level up their “character” get stuck at level one.
The best thing about reinventing oneself is to become agile in this changing world.
To become a person for whom your soul is longing and what God calling for.
That’s it. This alone is why I have followed this call.
Being able to understand other areas of your own life that you have ignored. Expanding your horizon.
Whatever profession, race, background, and reinvention are necessary for all walks of life.
It will require some hard work and self-awareness.
So, here is how you do it.
How to reinvent yourself
Please stop here. Do not read any further if you think this is going to be about writing affirmations, simply wishing for financial gain, reciting uplifting mantras, or promoting the aspirational ideals often peddled by mainstream media or “hustle culture”. It’s not the case here. Rather, the following piece is focused on self-development, self-awareness, and personal growth. So, if you’re interested in building a deeper understanding of yourself, keep reading.
1. Facing The shadow
One of the biggest things you need to develop is self-awareness.
Of course, this is gonna take some time and practice, especially if self-awareness is not natural to you, But once you reach that point, things will look bright for you.
In order to develop and see progress for yourself you need to know two crucial things.
- Who you are
- Who do you desire to become
Both are mutually inclusive – or else you will be enslaved to the mentality of the “luck” game to see a difference.
This will demand a ton of self-reflection. It requires sacrifices. This is not a simple and easy path, but you MUST push forward. You most likely encounter parts of yourself that are positive and wonderful and some not quite pleasant. The Part of our psyche that is dark and ugly is what we subconsciously ignore. Often, we project them onto others. Sometimes the things/qualities we don’t like about other people are a reflection of things that we like the least about ourselves. Therefore, next time pay attention to the things you do not like about others, there is a chance that you also obtain those traits or qualities. This is at least where we start becoming more aware of our subconscious within.
Carl Jung called this the shadow described as the subconscious or blind spot of our psyche.
I like this concept. This has been tremendous for my personal growth.
Jung described the shadow as the following:
“ The thing a person has no wish to be” – Carl Jung
Jung was a firm believer in bringing the unconscious mind to the forefront of consciousness. Becoming aware of the entirety of your being and embracing it. Facing internal things that you seem to avoid or fear. That is, it is only humans. But from now on you need to face that fear head-on.
I found it to be helpful to write down everything negative or holding me back right next to my goals. ( it is a very humbling experience)
I suggest you do the same.
For you, it could be your inner insecurities, trauma, your entourage, environment, self-hatred, or jealousy.
Whatever it may be, write it down. This is one way of becoming aware of them. Ultimately, they prevent us from the potential. Understanding this will allow you to prevent them from getting in your way before they prevent you from becoming who you desire.
2.When to quit( Discernment on quitting or sticking)
Now that we are more aware of the entirety of our being and have a “model” of who we want to become, now look into your current life. What do you not like and what do you want to change?
How can you become closer to becoming the person you want to be?
What’s serving you and what’s not?
If you have been on social media before( unless you live under a rock. Much respect, I envy you)
You have probably seen one of those motivational posts that tell you to never give up.
To me, the mentality of constantly repeating actions that have proven to be ineffective – a common trait of the “hustle culture” – appears to me to be unwise.
Although I enjoy this type of content, I think it would be better if they also highlight discernment.
Ultimately, discernment makes winners win. The ability to know the exact decision you need to make at the exact moment.
The ability to stick or quit.
A lot of us have been holding onto a lot of things that prevent us from moving forward.
It could be friends, old dreams , hobbies , etc.
Certain things are draining our time and energy, simply because we don’t want to “give up” on them.
For the longest time, I was contemplating turning the page from soccer.
But I couldn’t, my ego was getting in the way of being afraid of labeling myself as a “quitter”.
My heart told me that it was time to quit and focus my time elsewhere but resisted.
All because I felt ashamed of labeling myself a failure or quitter.
But I realized that those who reached their full potential quit even more often than the average person.
They fail, quit, and try different things to reach the point where they desire to be.
When to quit? you may ask.
I asked myself the following four questions. I suggest that you write them down.
- Who am I?
- Identify yourself to the entirety of your being.( Hence go back up top for the Shadow reference)
- Knowing yourself exactly can allow you to define where and how you spend your precious time.
- Who do I desire to be?
- Now that we have a better understanding of who we are, let’s aim to develop what kinda person we would like to be.
- Develop a model in your mind of what the person you will be.
- what would your his life and values look like?( personal activities, habits, contribution in society etc)
- What would your environment look like( friends, family, place)
- What can I do to get there?
- Strategize your life and the actions you take daily in alignment with who you want to be
- Watch over your daily habits and things you consume( music, your style, diet, education, hobbies)
- What is preventing me from getting there?
- Perhaps it is some unhealthy habits that we know deep down that preventing us to move forward
- Perhaps you’re working on the wrong things
- Bad influence from friends, family or environment
- Once identify the obstacles, you can eliminate them.
It’s crucial to identify these aspects in our lives, as they can bring clarity and meaning, just as they did for me.
As I went through these questions, I quickly realized that many things in my life, including soccer, were not in alignment with who I wanted to be and where I am going in my life. Why would I spend more time on them?
SO I QUIT.
I like this quote from Seth Godin. In his bestseller “The Dip”, Godin dives deep into knowing when to quit or stick.
“A woodpecker can tap twenty times on a thousand trees and get nowhere, but stay busy. Or he can tap twenty-thousand times on one tree and get dinner.” ― Seth Godin, quote from The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)
Sticking things that are not pushing you to get where you want to be is inefficient.
A lot of us do it for the sake of the narrative of the “never quitting” mentality.
Working the things that are not aligned with your life is not very clever.
Our time on Earth is finite.
Would you want to spend more time on things that derive you from your potential?
I certainly don’t. And I hope you do the same.
So, ask yourself the same questions in one area of your life.
It could be your job
your style
your diet
your music taste
your friend group
your environment
your interests or hobbies
Or your moral and values
If they don’t align with what you want to be, then ask yourself why you want to spend any more seconds on them.
Maybe it’s time to reinvent yourself and replace them with something that is more aligned with you.
The moral of the story is to work hard and thrive on the things that are in alignment with who we are becoming. If they are not serving in serving to transform you into who are becoming, it’s time to quit on them.
We are only humans, and it could be painful and sad. However, sometimes to get to the promised land, you will need to sacrifice certain things, and it is worth it.
Get ready to buckle up, my friend, as this journey of reinvention has the potential to change your life.
It’s time to unleash your 2.0.
Thanks for reading.
-EsaÏe