On May of this year, I graduated. I’m extremely proud of myself. I’ve been taking time to reflect on my college career. Here are three things that I realized during my reflection.
1.The importance of good habits
Humans are not so different from one another. Apart from individuals with disabilities, we all possess the same basic abilities. We have been given the same amount of time in seconds, minutes, and days. We all breathe the same air and walk on the same earth as any other human being. The differences between person A and person B are found in their habits.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit“
– Aristotle.
This quote from Aristolte reminds us that our habits define who we are.
What you do behind the scenes will reflect in your quality of life. Focus most of your time and energy on things that will pour back into you.
The best habits I’ve built for myself during my college career were done behind the scenes. There are the ones that don’t seem impactful in the moment but will greatly benefit you in the future.
If you spend your time engaging in activities that provide quick dopamine hits or instant gratification, it will inevitably lead to long-term problems. I don’t have a problem with drinking but If you spend your time drinking every day, now you have a problem. Now you are technically an alcoholic and that’s not a good look. Because bad habits are not easy to break.
We have a choice to make every day. Make sure you invest in the right habits.
For the best habits that you can build for yourself are the ones that positively pour back into your life.
So do yourself a favor, and choose the right things to invest in your life.
Remember habits are not easy to break, especially the bad ones.
2. Nothing is constant, things will change
You will encounter changes in different areas of your life, some for the better and some for the worse. This could include changes in friends, career choices, activities, and more. It’s completely normal and is a part of life.
There is nothing wrong with change, so don’t resist it when the time comes. Let the change guide you in the direction you need to go.
For example, when I started college as a freshman, my life revolved around soccer. I dedicated most of my energy solely to soccer and nothing else. However, this eventually changed when God directed me in a different way of living; I questioned my path and realized it was time for a change. I still love the game, but it no longer consumes my life. I discussed this transformation in depth in an article about self-reinvention.
Four years ago, this would have sounded absurd to my former self. We often think that our current preferences, values, and desires will remain constant over time, a concept known as the illusion of the end of history. We forget that we were once children and had to change over time.
What you like now may not always be what you prefer in the future. This realization occurred multiple times for me during my college years. For instance, I used to only like two genres of music (rap and R&B), but now I am more experimental. I listen to jazz, neo-soul, R&B, alternative jazz, rumba-rock, Afrobeat, alt-rap, and alt-rock. It’s quite a change, right? My 18-year-old self would probably laugh at me now, but I believe he will understand one day.
Why am I saying this?
I’m sharing this so you can avoid being closed-minded and be open to changes. When you resist natural change, you hinder and delay the process of becoming your true self, sometimes referred to as self-actualization.
How can we be more open to change?
Not only should you make decisions for your current self, but also for your future self. Ask yourself if your future self would agree with your decisions. If not, you may want to reconsider your choices.
3. celebrate small wins and be content
On the day of my graduation, I felt unsure of how to process my emotions.
With college behind me, it was time to face the real world, and my anxiety about the future overshadowed the significance of the moment.
Rather than fully embracing the experience. I was preoccupied with thoughts about my career and what comes next. Reflecting on this now, I was thinking about my career, my next step, and life in general. On graduation day, I barely had fun and didn’t fully embrace it.
Reflecting on this now, three months after the event, I realize how foolish I was to approach it with such ingratitude. .
All of a sudden,I had lost sight of the fact that graduating from college had been one of my lifelong dreams.
I failed to acknowledge the journey that had brought me to that point—such as being the first in my family to graduate from college in the USA, after arriving in the country not speaking a word of English eight years prior.
For some reason, I didn’t fully appreciate the significance of my achievement and the milestone it represented. Something my younger self could only dream of.
I realized my mindset has been influenced or tricked by society’s emphasis on constant striving and “hustle culture.”
We are conditioned to always pursue more, rather than appreciating what we already have.
For example, the car you have now was once a dream, but now you’re sick of it and want another shiny one. This keeps you in a perpetual state of chasing because you never attain satisfaction. That’s why you see so many people with so much yet lacking fulfillment inside.
This mentality can prevent us from finding contentment and fulfillment in the present. We end up constantly chasing the next best thing without ever feeling truly satisfied.
I realized that I had fallen into this trap, always seeking the next level of achievement without fully recognizing and celebrating my current accomplishments.
It’s essential to celebrate our wins to remind ourselves of the hard work that went into achieving them.
Don’t be like me; avoid this mistake.
Improvement is good; however, be content with what you have.
Be grateful for the things you have, the successes, and the failures because they are all part of the story. Learn how to celebrate your wins because it will remind you of how hard you worked for them.